Is your partner cheating? The chances are that they are not the only ones. According to recent studies, roughly 50% of married people have cheated on their partner at some point in their marriage. It’s a complex topic to discuss, but it is essential to be prepared for what may happen next if you find yourself in this situation. In this article, we’ll discuss uncomfortable but necessary conversations you should have with your unfaithful partner so that both of you can move forward and start living a healthy life together.
Check Your Reactions
One of the most important things you can do is check your reactions. This is especially true if you’re upset with your partner and struggling to keep your emotions in check. If you find yourself lashing out at your unfaithful partner or simply over-reacting, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If you’re focusing on the negative, you won’t be able to see your partner for who they indeed are and what went wrong in your relationship.
Hold Them Accountable
This is another common reaction that many people have after finding out their partner has been unfaithful. To diminish their feelings of guilt, those who cheat will often shift blame onto others or try to make excuses as to why they cheated. Do not fall for these excuses and hold them accountable for their actions because ultimately, it’s nobody’s fault but their own. Only they can change this situation by taking responsibility and making amends with you and your partner.
Gather information about the cheating incident by talking to other people (if possible) and consulting with a therapist or counselor. Most importantly, listen to your feelings and remain open-minded about what you learn because it might be challenging to hear the truth first, but this is part of the process.
Many couples do not go into therapy, but finding a good relationship and marriage counselor will help you get through this process much more manageable. Find yourself on an emotional rollercoaster where you feel like you’re going from one argument to another. It might be time for both of you to sit down with a neutral party who can give some guidance and wisdom when discussing such uncomfortable topics together. Getting professional help is also beneficial because it can help guide you through rebuilding your relationship. Remember that this does not necessarily mean that you will get back together, but it’s still essential to go through this process because it will help both of you move on and feel closure about the past.
Don’t hide anything from your partner, even if it is something they might not want to hear or see right away. If there are things in your life you haven’t shared with them, now would be a good time to discuss your experiences with them to understand how these events have influenced you over time. Don’t gloss over details – be honest with yourself and each other during this process.
Respect Your Partner
Whether or not this cheating situation becomes more significant than just an incident that happened once, it is still vital for both of you to push past your feelings and earn each others respect again. If you’re the unfaithful one, be sure to apologize and show through your actions that you deserve forgiveness. If the cheating partner has accepted responsibility for what they’ve done, try to give them a chance and accept their apology and focus on moving forward.
Be Aware of Triggers
Depending on the nature of the cheating situation, there will most likely be triggers that set off various emotions and bring up old issues. It’s essential to be aware and prepared for these triggers so you know how to respond and deal with them before they become too much. Remind yourself that this is part of the process, and it should not hinder your ability to move forward as a couple.
Don’t promise your partner that you’ll never feel insecure or distrustful again because everyone has those feelings from time to time. What’s more important is working through those feelings together as an evolving unit instead of trying to suppress those negative feelings all at once. Don’t panic if one day you feel insecure about the relationship again. Remind yourself that this is a normal reaction, and it’s what you do as a couple after those feelings surface that matters most.
If there are children in the relationship, then it is a good idea to get a paternity test. This is doubly important if divorce is on the horizon, and could make or break a custody dispute. Even if divorce isn’t part of the picture, the children need to know their true parentage for health reasons. Hereditary disease is linked to family history, and you can adopt a child but you can’t give them your medical history.
Be patient with yourself. Remember that your goal is not never to feel insecure or hurt by something your partner says or does. Still, instead, it should be to reach an ideal place where these feelings seem like a distant memory and don’t ruin the good times you spend together (both as individuals and as a couple). There will still be bad days, but they will become fewer and further between if you can work through them together.
It’s never easy to deal with infidelity in any relationship, but it can be done. The most important thing is for both partners to respect each other and understand that this process will take time. Be patient, open-minded, honest, and above all else, work towards rebuilding trust together. If need be, consult a counselor for help.